MindSeed-គ្រាប់ពូជ

           I am intrigued and also hate how I always mention about inner self, one self, from within, like seriously why is that even a thing in the first place? Why would I and someone care about it or about getting to know one self? Basically, nobody knows what they really want. Most of time, they don't want anything to do with themselves too. Why would anyone want to be something while they could be anything? I know it is deep questions but it is very important to ask. We work hard for something not everything. We thrive not for the name of greed but necessary things. Back to my point, our personality is dynamic, so we can have differrent forms of self. One self is your friend and another can be your enemy; they all have both good and bad quality but serving the same purpose which is protecting you. Personally, I sometimes becomes my own friend and sometimes my own enemy. Meaning, I can encourage myself, validate, and push myself just as though it is from other but from within.

         Today is my birthday. First message I got when I woke up this morning is my letter I wrote for myself one year ago. Cool, right? Here . Then there is another one from my very special friend who is kind of very far away. It seems like she is only person who always remembers my special day and so do I for hers. There is nothing much as usual on my birthday. No flooding wishes comments, no cake or gift. Just real talk with self and little fun time chatting with friends. We born here on this planet, at a time we can see one another; we are going all share our moments together, the time of our life on this earth. I might feel lonely all the time and we all do feel loneliness but we have got each other. Because one thing I remember is neither of our existence is meaningful nor the universe. What is more painful is being existed but have no one to share with.

           I always remember my dad always said this to me you don't have to be ready to do anything; the words that encourage me to stand my ground against my fears of waiting and waiting in the appeal of perfection. I can say that I was a perfectionist and I still am but in the amount of non problematic after I learned that being a hardcore perfectionist can hinder my performance and learning process. You have to make mistakes in order to do it right. This would imply to my coding practice as well; in order to write good code, I have to write bad code first. This also applies to other agile methodologies: fail fast and iterate until it comes to point of good enough. Expect to make mistake at your first try. I wish I could learn and understand all of these sooner because I know I made ton of excuses and wasted lots of time waiting for the right moment or waiting till I am ready by avoiding making fool of myself because I hate and afraid of making mistakes. We are not god; we are n

           How are you? This is the type of question that most of the time I don't really know the answer of but I will answer it right away with I'm Okay, thanks. However, what does it mean to feel okay? Is it true that we feel okay when we say we are okay. Well, we are not sure. We all are trying to learn and interpret our feelings all time and we will be experiencing the vast range of emotions throughout our life. Some people will feel a small range of emotions and other will have it bigger so does our level of happiness sitting in between the spectrum of emotions. For instance, some people have a high level of happiness which mean when they are saying they are okay or fine, their expression such as body language, facial expression, and  voice tone will show it immediately. On the other hands, some has a low level of happiness, meaning, they are feeling fine when they are experiencing a quite relieving emotion, peaceful and calm by a little bit off from chaos. For me, it is

When do you need a break? When it is too fast or too slow? For me, it is nothing different from riding a motor bike. It is when the road is too overwhelming, when I need to check the map, the road, and when I know my bike is too heated. Similarly, it is like when to stop too. My point is working or pushing yourself too hard without a break can break yourself and when something break mostly brings you no good. You will waste lots of time fixing yourself up. Likewise, when you workout and risk injuring yourself by continually doing rep without break. Or, study 10h straight without breaks and you will burnout for the rest of the week. Knowing when to break is as important as knowing when to stop i.e., if it doesn't worth breaking yourself then don't risk it. It's all about knowing yourself and your limit. Consistency over rush, marathon over sprint. Rather go intense for a short period then a quick break just like how I set my pomodoro 25mn 5mn for break. However, be aware tha

         Based on  Buddhism, there are three marks of existence: impermanence, suffering, and meaninglessness. What does that mean to all of us? That means we all are going to face the same fate, death. Suffering is the core of all life. If you feel pain that means you are still alive. Pain is what drive you to want to experience and obtain pleasure as much as you can. And meaninglessness is about the fact that we born nothing and end as nothing. This is to say that time in between defines everything, that makes life evolve as it is. It reminds me that it takes a lifetime to understand life. If you are healthy and educated enough then time is wealth, you can spend or waste it whatever you want. What else you can do besides that three things is making time that you have spent meaningful for example, spending it with your loved one, family, friends, helping others, being the best version of yourself and do whatever makes you happy and feel proud of yourself. That is all that matters.